Aptive Celebrates Military Spouse Appreciation Day
News
Aptive Celebrates Military Spouse Appreciation Day
Posted on 05.12.23
Aptive honors Military Spouse Appreciation Day to recognize and celebrate the spouses who provide unwavering support to the nation’s service members. Although military spouses (mil-spouses) may not wear a uniform like their partners, they make sacrifices and serve alongside their loved ones in their own way to help keep their service members strong.
Those in the mil-spouse community often share common ground, and many are able to connect and relate to similar experiences or challenges. Whether it be a lack of stability due to their partner’s job change or leaving behind what’s become familiar, there are others out there that know what you’re feeling.
To showcase the community’s strength and support, Aptive is sharing stories from its own mil-spouses and their advice for those who might be beginning their journey.
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Air Force
Time in Service
He has already served nine years and has plans to continue towards becoming a General.
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
I am most grateful for the transient life it provides my children and I. I want my children to be able to adapt wherever they are planted and being a military child prepares them for that in a way most children don’t get to experience.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
To be incredibly transparent, a challenge I, and many spouses, have faced is shouldering a majority of the parenting responsibilities when the service member is TDY, deployed, in Shift work or working long hours.
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
One piece of advice I would offer new spouses is to have an identity outside of your partner. It makes your journey more balanced!
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Army
Time in Service
Jonathan has served for three years and has four years left in his active-duty contract.
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
I am most grateful for the opportunities Jonathan and I have gotten to live in different areas. We both didn’t travel much growing up and we have been able to see what else is out there aside from our hometowns!
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
Jonathan and I started dating during his final year at the Virginia Military Institute. Although we lived relatively close to each other in our hometown, we didn’t spend much time together before he had to leave for BOLC (Basic Officer Leader Course). Despite the challenges of a four-year long-distance relationship, we got married almost six months ago and are now able to embark on this journey together. Don’t give up!
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
Try to have as many of your own hobbies and activities as possible. When your partner leaves for training or other courses, you want to make sure you have things to do to keep yourself busy (if you don’t have a family).
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Army
Time in Service
19 years and still rolling on!
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
The ability to move around the US and, no matter where we live, always find other spouses and service members who share similar interests outside of the military allowing us to share and connect over those interests in our down time.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
My husband and I met while serving in the military (I spent six years in the Air Force). For the first five years we were in a long-distance relationship, moving around the country to different duty stations while we each pursued two very different career fields.
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
The Military will always throw you a curve ball (or two, or three) when you least expect it, so accepting it sooner rather than later will help you both roll with the punches when it comes to changes of plans, duty stations, jobs, everything!
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Marine Corps
Time in Service
My husband was active duty for 22 years and I was along for the ride for 12 of them!
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
I’m grateful that I found a portable career early on in my days as a military spouse. When we moved to Okinawa, Japan a few months after we got married, the on-post jobs were limited. I’d worked all my life and earned an advanced degree; I intended to continue a professional career alongside my Marine. Luckily, I found my way into government consulting and was able to maintain my career across four duty stations and 11 years.
My husband retired from the USMC four years ago and now, we happen to be living our best lives because of the choices my spouse made when he was 18. He (almost) always intended for the military to be a career before he had a family to consider. Our sons will benefit from his transferred GI Bill, and we will benefit from the outstanding health care and military pension for years. I’m grateful for the choices he made then.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
My biggest challenge was in our first few years of marriage. He was gone more than he was home, so it was hard to build a foundation together. When we were stationed in Japan, I was discovering the world and learning about military life, but he wasn’t there.
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
Figure out how to make the military life work for you. If working full time is your thing, then do it. If volunteering or joining the spouses club is your thing, then do it. The military spouse archetype of today is different than previous generations. Being a military spouse is an identifier, but not your ONLY identity. Find your people fast and love them hard because you don’t have enough time to dip your toe in and test the waters at each duty station.
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Navy
Time in Service
As of May, he will have served one year so far.
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
The opportunity to live near San Diego beaches, meeting other spouses and the free movie theater on base!
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
I was working full time while my husband was away when we only got three week’s notice to move across the country. Trying to move and pack our apartment by myself was not easy, especially lifting the Peloton into our car (never again!).
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
Don’t hesitate to reach out to other spouses for advice and information and always embrace the unexpected!
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Coast Guard
Time in Service
He is on his way to 20 years!
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
Having the opportunity to explore the United States and travel abroad with my family has been a blessing. We’ve had the privilege of calling over eight different locations our home, including Germany.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
Having to restart our lives every two years is always a challenge. It’s the attachment to the people we meet that I find the most difficult, even though I know it’s not goodbye, just see you later.
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
It’s one moment at a time. Don’t forget to keep an open mind and to be excited! Even though you may not wear a uniform, you are an integral part of your spouse’s success in their career.
Spouse’s Branch of Service
Marine Corps, Air Force, Army and DHS
Time in Service
32 years
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
His dedication to our country, our marriage and living his purpose.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
Being a retired Veteran is hard. The changes in his schedule, his routine and physical abilities. The mental toll on him is unimaginable,
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
It’s all about patience and a good dose of understanding. A marriage requires communication and compromise, be patient as your spouse adjusts to these differences in their service and at home.
Spouse’s Branch of Service
United States Air Force
Time in Service
Currently at 11 years and still going!
What are you most grateful for during your time as a mil-spouse or up to this point?
Student loan forgiveness is a huge bonus. The healthcare is amazing, and I never have to opt in to my company healthcare which can get expensive. With all the sacrifices we make, there are so many people and companies that will do what they can to help (military discounts, access to airport lounges, etc). Many of places will make a point of acknowledging that the whole family is making a sacrifice to serve, not just the service member.
What is one challenge you have faced as a result of your spouse serving in the military as it relates to life at home, family, jobs, etc.?
We moved to this area for my husband’s service, and we don’t have a support network. Even the question “Who is your emergency contact?” is a hard one to answer when you move to a new area. It can often feel like you’re starting over every time you have to build a new community. Sometimes it can feel like my career arc is less of a priority while we make so many sacrifices for the military.
What is one piece of advice you have for new mil-spouses that just started their journey?
Don’t be afraid to accept help when it is offered and ask for help often (usually people really want to help you).